PULSE

Today marks two years since the attack at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. I remember that day so clearly because the day before had been my 26^th birthday. I had a weird feeling for the whole day, but I couldn’t describe it. I was happy because it was my birthday, but I just felt off. Later that day I received a call from my best friend saying she was going to take me out for a surprise with her boyfriend and another friend of ours. When my friend arrived at my house with everyone she told me that we were going to a gay bar. I was very excited because even though I had been out for a few years I never really went out to the local LGBT bars in the St.Louis area. When we arrived at Just John’s we all had a few drinks and chatted for a while. I was having a good time, but I kept having that weird feeling I felt I needed to be more vigilant than usual. I kept looking at all the exit doors and the other people in the bar.

Around 10:30 pm we decided to call it a night and my friends dropped me off and I went to bed. When I woke up on June 12^th a little bit before 7 am I pulled out my phone to check my social media accounts. As I was scrolling through Twitter I kept seeing news reports about a shooting at an Orlando night club. I turned on CNN and my heart sank. On the screen in bold black letters were the words shooting at Orlando LGBT nightclub. It was at the moment I realized why I felt so off. When news broke that 49 people had been killed I was very sad because each one of those people was somebody’s loved one, child, Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, and friend. I also was in a state of shock because it could have happened in Just Johns or at any of the other LGBT night spots.

One thing that I have taken away from what happened at Pulse is to never take life for granted and to also embrace who I am and be proud of that I am Gay. A semester after the attack happened I decided to join my school’s LGBT organization which really helped me branch out of my shell and I met some amazing people during my time there. My heart continues to go out to the survivors, their families and the families of those who lost a loved one. My hope is that one day all of these hateful things will stop.

 

Thank you for reading,

Sincerely, Tom